I announced this on facebook, & I know I mentioned that her adoption would be next month in March, I now have the official word - we're on the list, we've spoken to the adoption negotiator, our petition is filed, now all we have to do is show up on March 7th & our sweet love Miss C will be ours.
On paper. She's been ours in our hearts from day one.
I am just so happy about this.
It might sound strange, but with our other kiddos there was a little more sad mixed in with the happy, I think because of the proximity of rights terminated & adoption. Maybe. There was still about 4 months in between, but that isn't really very long to work through such tragedy. Thinking about the sorrow that their biological families were in the middle of made it hard.
I am not complaining. I have taken on the role of grieving alongside my kids, & while they are too young to understand their loss that means mourning it on my own.
In foster care, you mourn. If they go, if they stay. There is loss no matter what.
But with Miss C, rights were terminated well over a year ago. We haven't heard anything from anyone in all that time. There was no last moment bid from her biological family like there was with the older kids. Wherever they are & whatever they might be doing, I am sure that they still feel the loss of her in a very real way. But the hurt just isn't as fresh.
Maybe that sounds like cold comfort, but it's something. Time might not heal, but it helps.
We've just been waiting. For what feels like so long. Our monthly visits are almost silly at this point, because in the worker's own words, "nothing ever changes with you guys, you're just here."
To go from a state of what feels like perpetual waiting to finally being at our goal - amazing. Like finally getting to the front of the line.
And now the ride starts!
I decided since it's so close & since she looks like a 2-year-old now & not an undernourished newborn, it would be okay to share this picture of a tiny 5-day-old Miss C. She was wearing premie clothes & they were big on her; I remember noticing as she lay on the changing table that she was about the size of a package of baby wipes. She is our miracle.