"Congratulations, your adoption is granted."


Officially Almost Official

I announced this on facebook, & I know I mentioned that her adoption would be next month in March, I now have the official word - we're on the list, we've spoken to the adoption negotiator, our petition is filed, now all we have to do is show up on March 7th & our sweet love Miss C will be ours.

On paper.  She's been ours in our hearts from day one.  

I am just so happy about this.  

It might sound strange, but with our other kiddos there was a little more sad mixed in with the happy, I think because of the proximity of rights terminated & adoption.  Maybe.  There was still about 4 months in between, but that isn't really very long to work through such tragedy.  Thinking about the sorrow that their biological families were in the middle of made it hard. 

I am not complaining.  I have taken on the role of grieving alongside my kids, & while they are too young to understand their loss that means mourning it on my own.

In foster care, you mourn.  If they go, if they stay.  There is loss no matter what. 

But with Miss C, rights were terminated well over a year ago.  We haven't heard anything from anyone in all that time.  There was no last moment bid from her biological family like there was with the older kids.  Wherever they are & whatever they might be doing, I am sure that they still feel the loss of her in a very real way.  But the hurt just isn't as fresh.  

Maybe that sounds like cold comfort, but it's something.  Time might not heal, but it helps.  

We've just been waiting.  For what feels like so long.  Our monthly visits are almost silly at this point, because in the worker's own words, "nothing ever changes with you guys, you're just here."

To go from a state of what feels like perpetual waiting to finally being at our goal - amazing.  Like finally getting to the front of the line.

And now the ride starts! 

I decided since it's so close & since she looks like a 2-year-old now & not an undernourished newborn, it would be okay to share this picture of a tiny 5-day-old Miss C.  She was wearing premie clothes & they were big on her; I remember noticing as she lay on the changing table that she was about the size of a package of baby wipes.  She is our miracle.


February 10.

February 10th is a special day around here. 

It is so hard to believe that our sweet Miss C has been on Earth for two years.  We celebrated this weekend with an under the sea party.  She made the worlds cutest mermaid.

It is so hard to believe that our silly boys have been ours - officially ours - for two years.  We will celebrate tonight by blowing out two candles and looking at pictures from their adoption day.

And speaking of adoption & of Miss C - Next month.  Her big day will finally be here.  One month from right now, we will no longer be a foster family; just a family.  

That makes me both happy & sad.  Mostly happy though.

I don't feel like our family building journey is over, to be honest.  I could easily be wrong (Jessman thinks I am!), but for at least the long term, it will be oh so lovely to just be.

No visits.

No lock boxes for vitamins (a high shelf will suffice, thankyouverymuch).

No paperwork or lawyers.  No mandatory classes or training hours.

It sounds like a cool shower on a hot day.  Like clean clothes on sun kissed skin after a day at the beach or freshly cut hair.

Like the most refreshing thing I can imagine.

Happy Birthday to our tiny Miss C.  Happy Gotcha Day to our house comedians Little J & Mr. P.

You are loved, you are loved, you are loved.